What you can get out of depression. . . real happiness
Depression offers us a great opportunity for personal growth. Without depression, I would not have ended up with Om Improvement, with an amazing year of learning and teaching. I am not advocating that you lot go all out and get depressed right now! I am saying that the next time you feel down in the dumps, it could be the work of an internal mechanism within you to try and get you to wake up and assess your life. . . and set off a process of making yourself live in a better way forever.
Eknath Easwaran:
“For the most part, however, we are too absorbed in personal pursuits to heed these internal cues. As a result we are always at odds with our true Self. This is the cause of all the insecurity in our hearts. Somewhere deep down we know the person we want to be, but we are so conditioned to look for satisfaction outside ourselves that we ignore this Self, who is waiting so patiently to be found.”
“Discovering this Self is the greatest achievement possible. It brings with it everything else we have been looking for – peace of mind, joy, security, fulfilment. Once we make this discovery, we are no longer separate individuals. Our life becomes a lasting, positive force which does not end when we shed the body at death.”
I am moved when a student’s friend told me that she’s trying hard to get her mom out of a state of depression. Believe me, everyone, there is no job more urgent, more important to do, no love greater than to do that. Depression is serious condition. But it is not an incurable condition. It is the job of all of us to help our loved ones out of their depression because it is something that affects us all. It is very hard to come out of it yourself. I only rebounded because I had the support of a bunch of untiring friends and mentors. Through their fierce love (yes! They were very persistent in their love) I managed to come to terms with life again.
Can we all make a vow to help all we know who are depressed TODAY?!
Do not wait.
What is depression?
I found Easwaran’s writing very helpful here. I am much indebted to his work. ( I hope I don’t get sued. . . but I am sure his inheritors understand that I am trying to help others through his extraordinary writing!) He said: “Depression is simply dwelling on oneself – one’s problems, one’s failures, one’s inadequacies – and if you can distract the ego from this favourite pastime, you will find that you are no longer depressed.”
Yes, that’s it simply put. Then why is it so hard to come out of the state? Why is it that we find ourselves falling in and out of depression in cycles? I feel it is because we do not understand how our own mind works and no one taught us the skills for managing our minds, our thoughts. So let's learn:
Easwaran elaborates on a common problem:
“We are constantly conditioned to seek excitement; we are brainwashed to believe that we are not getting anything out of life unless we are excited. Yet it is one of the laws of nature that what goes up must come down, so we should not be surprised that depression has now reached epidemic proportions”.
“When we let ourselves get carried away by elation, we are opening the door for depression to visit us soon after. Whether we are elated or depressed, the mind is spinning out of our control, and the only difference is whether it is spinning over what is pleasant or what is unpleasant."
Easwaran proposes the following ways to get out of depression:
[1] “Do not spend time trying to analyse your depression to see how it came about.” This feeds the process of depression. In yoga, we see depression as a case of a speeded up mind. The thoughts are zipping through your mind very fast “why? Why? Why?!!!! Why me?!!!! Etc.” The yoga teachings tell us that to cure depression, we need to slow down the mind by stilling the thoughts. Not adding more thoughts. Besides, even if we know the causes of our depression, so what? If someone shot you with a poison arrow, do you wait until you have enquired as to who is the shooter before you try to treat the wound? You’ll be dead by then!
[2] Repeating our mantram. Whether this is “I will survive” or “Hail Mary…” or “Om mani padme hum”. This helps, guys. There’s nothing voodoo about it. It is a psychological effect. The repetition takes our mind off the escalating negative thoughts and replaces them with a positive message. This is good when you are not even in depression but perhaps just mildly sad, it brings the mind to a restful state. I call it the “mental screensaver”. Imagine giving the computer that is your mind something to do in between periods of heavy processing work. ;-)
[3] “Throw ourselves into work or activities that turn our attention outward and keep us from thinking about ourselves.” So if depression is endless dwelling on ourselves, the way out of this is, logically, not dwelling on ourselves but dwelling on others. Easwaran says the harder and more challenging the work the better. Also, it is best to find something that is done in the company of others and something that benefits others. In my case, this is to teach yoga and to do volunteer work. In the process, your mind is given something to focus on besides itself. I feel my problems transform and found a deeper purpose to existence. Whenever you live only for yourself, you are doomed – only in the service of others are you really serving your Self best. This is also why it is SO important to constantly draw out somebody who is depressed. He/she needs to re-engage in the world of others – which brings an end to their depression (dwelling on self). In a supportive environment, like a church or temple, volunteer work is especially therapeutic as there is a lot of goodwill and feeling of serving a higher purpose. If your loved one goes to these places, encourage them to contribute there. There are also many causes that need help: animals, children, environment, aged sick, etc. They are also endless sources of love and appreciation to those who help there.
[4] “Always act as if you are not depressed.” I can imagine that this upsets our “modern sensibilities”. It took a while for me to appreciate this. I gave it some tries and I must say it works on a very sublime level. I can put this in another way, anytime you are not paying attention, your mind falls into habit and you start the chain of thoughts condemning your actions and life, etc. If you can catch yourself at the onset of this thought process and act as if you are not depressed, you can avoid the fall into that bottomless pit. After a while, you find that you are really not depressed anymore and no longer pretending. Why is this so? That’s because you have FORGOTTEN YOURSELF. Remember that it is only when we dwell on ourselves that we are depressed. When you forget yourself, you also forget to be depressed!
What all these techniques show us is that we need to be constantly aware of what’s happening in our minds. Once the mind gets cloudy, our attention gets lazy, we become victims of our own uncontrolled thoughts and our emotions get pulled every which way. W become worn out and lost. But if we are constantly mindful of what our minds are up to, nothing can shake us, we can be *gasp* -- constantly happy -- not the excited, fleeting kind of happy but the calm, peaceful, lasting kind. How to be constantly aware? We need some techniques so that we can practice this skill. Yoga is a good technique.
Moral of the story? PRACTISE YOGA.
Eknath Easwaran:
“For the most part, however, we are too absorbed in personal pursuits to heed these internal cues. As a result we are always at odds with our true Self. This is the cause of all the insecurity in our hearts. Somewhere deep down we know the person we want to be, but we are so conditioned to look for satisfaction outside ourselves that we ignore this Self, who is waiting so patiently to be found.”
“Discovering this Self is the greatest achievement possible. It brings with it everything else we have been looking for – peace of mind, joy, security, fulfilment. Once we make this discovery, we are no longer separate individuals. Our life becomes a lasting, positive force which does not end when we shed the body at death.”
I am moved when a student’s friend told me that she’s trying hard to get her mom out of a state of depression. Believe me, everyone, there is no job more urgent, more important to do, no love greater than to do that. Depression is serious condition. But it is not an incurable condition. It is the job of all of us to help our loved ones out of their depression because it is something that affects us all. It is very hard to come out of it yourself. I only rebounded because I had the support of a bunch of untiring friends and mentors. Through their fierce love (yes! They were very persistent in their love) I managed to come to terms with life again.
Can we all make a vow to help all we know who are depressed TODAY?!
Do not wait.
What is depression?
I found Easwaran’s writing very helpful here. I am much indebted to his work. ( I hope I don’t get sued. . . but I am sure his inheritors understand that I am trying to help others through his extraordinary writing!) He said: “Depression is simply dwelling on oneself – one’s problems, one’s failures, one’s inadequacies – and if you can distract the ego from this favourite pastime, you will find that you are no longer depressed.”
Yes, that’s it simply put. Then why is it so hard to come out of the state? Why is it that we find ourselves falling in and out of depression in cycles? I feel it is because we do not understand how our own mind works and no one taught us the skills for managing our minds, our thoughts. So let's learn:
Easwaran elaborates on a common problem:
“We are constantly conditioned to seek excitement; we are brainwashed to believe that we are not getting anything out of life unless we are excited. Yet it is one of the laws of nature that what goes up must come down, so we should not be surprised that depression has now reached epidemic proportions”.
“When we let ourselves get carried away by elation, we are opening the door for depression to visit us soon after. Whether we are elated or depressed, the mind is spinning out of our control, and the only difference is whether it is spinning over what is pleasant or what is unpleasant."
Easwaran proposes the following ways to get out of depression:
[1] “Do not spend time trying to analyse your depression to see how it came about.” This feeds the process of depression. In yoga, we see depression as a case of a speeded up mind. The thoughts are zipping through your mind very fast “why? Why? Why?!!!! Why me?!!!! Etc.” The yoga teachings tell us that to cure depression, we need to slow down the mind by stilling the thoughts. Not adding more thoughts. Besides, even if we know the causes of our depression, so what? If someone shot you with a poison arrow, do you wait until you have enquired as to who is the shooter before you try to treat the wound? You’ll be dead by then!
[2] Repeating our mantram. Whether this is “I will survive” or “Hail Mary…” or “Om mani padme hum”. This helps, guys. There’s nothing voodoo about it. It is a psychological effect. The repetition takes our mind off the escalating negative thoughts and replaces them with a positive message. This is good when you are not even in depression but perhaps just mildly sad, it brings the mind to a restful state. I call it the “mental screensaver”. Imagine giving the computer that is your mind something to do in between periods of heavy processing work. ;-)
[3] “Throw ourselves into work or activities that turn our attention outward and keep us from thinking about ourselves.” So if depression is endless dwelling on ourselves, the way out of this is, logically, not dwelling on ourselves but dwelling on others. Easwaran says the harder and more challenging the work the better. Also, it is best to find something that is done in the company of others and something that benefits others. In my case, this is to teach yoga and to do volunteer work. In the process, your mind is given something to focus on besides itself. I feel my problems transform and found a deeper purpose to existence. Whenever you live only for yourself, you are doomed – only in the service of others are you really serving your Self best. This is also why it is SO important to constantly draw out somebody who is depressed. He/she needs to re-engage in the world of others – which brings an end to their depression (dwelling on self). In a supportive environment, like a church or temple, volunteer work is especially therapeutic as there is a lot of goodwill and feeling of serving a higher purpose. If your loved one goes to these places, encourage them to contribute there. There are also many causes that need help: animals, children, environment, aged sick, etc. They are also endless sources of love and appreciation to those who help there.
[4] “Always act as if you are not depressed.” I can imagine that this upsets our “modern sensibilities”. It took a while for me to appreciate this. I gave it some tries and I must say it works on a very sublime level. I can put this in another way, anytime you are not paying attention, your mind falls into habit and you start the chain of thoughts condemning your actions and life, etc. If you can catch yourself at the onset of this thought process and act as if you are not depressed, you can avoid the fall into that bottomless pit. After a while, you find that you are really not depressed anymore and no longer pretending. Why is this so? That’s because you have FORGOTTEN YOURSELF. Remember that it is only when we dwell on ourselves that we are depressed. When you forget yourself, you also forget to be depressed!
What all these techniques show us is that we need to be constantly aware of what’s happening in our minds. Once the mind gets cloudy, our attention gets lazy, we become victims of our own uncontrolled thoughts and our emotions get pulled every which way. W become worn out and lost. But if we are constantly mindful of what our minds are up to, nothing can shake us, we can be *gasp* -- constantly happy -- not the excited, fleeting kind of happy but the calm, peaceful, lasting kind. How to be constantly aware? We need some techniques so that we can practice this skill. Yoga is a good technique.
Moral of the story? PRACTISE YOGA.
