Come what may - Go what may
At the end of the day, I am trying to do some meditation before I sleep. I read that it is good to clear the mind of the debris collected (read earlier post on "How I aim to be a rubbish bin") throughout the day - to make for for a peaceful mind and a peaceful sleep.
So there I was sitting before bed on Sunday night. It had been an eventful weekend and my mind was still buzzing when I tried to sit. The weather was weird too. It was warm but gusts of sea wind will suddenly blow unsteadily but strongly. An unsettling condition! Anyway, I closed my eyes and tried to unwind the mind. I had resolved to observe my breath and do nothing else for a while. The winds inside and outside my mind continued to heave and give. I persisted. When I breathed in, I noted I was breathing in, when I breathed out, I noted I was breathing out. The noise of the winds disturbed still. It was hard to notice the breaths -- they were being drowned out! I tried not to get excited and bring the mind back to noticing the breaths. . . in, out, in, out, in, out. . . a strange thing happened then. The in-out-in-out became come-go-come-go. I felt my whole body give a tremor. . . and release. . . I felt awash with calm and I stayed there for as long as I liked.
I wonder why: when I breathed in "come", and when I breathed out "go" Why should this allow me to settle into a meditative state? I remembered the feeling. I felt a release. Perhaps when I thought "Come" I am inviting change to come in without resistence, without fear, and when I thought "Go", I am allowing things to pass, without resistence, without fear. In the process, there is a tremendous sense of relief. Grasping and being free are opposites states of mind. When I allow the breath to come, I am no longer forcing the air in. It is only an invitation! When I allow the breath to go, I am no longer pushing the air out. I just let it happen by itself. I take away the intervention of the mind into the breathing. The mind becomes just an observer. This is meditation already.
Try it next time you sit.
So there I was sitting before bed on Sunday night. It had been an eventful weekend and my mind was still buzzing when I tried to sit. The weather was weird too. It was warm but gusts of sea wind will suddenly blow unsteadily but strongly. An unsettling condition! Anyway, I closed my eyes and tried to unwind the mind. I had resolved to observe my breath and do nothing else for a while. The winds inside and outside my mind continued to heave and give. I persisted. When I breathed in, I noted I was breathing in, when I breathed out, I noted I was breathing out. The noise of the winds disturbed still. It was hard to notice the breaths -- they were being drowned out! I tried not to get excited and bring the mind back to noticing the breaths. . . in, out, in, out, in, out. . . a strange thing happened then. The in-out-in-out became come-go-come-go. I felt my whole body give a tremor. . . and release. . . I felt awash with calm and I stayed there for as long as I liked.
I wonder why: when I breathed in "come", and when I breathed out "go" Why should this allow me to settle into a meditative state? I remembered the feeling. I felt a release. Perhaps when I thought "Come" I am inviting change to come in without resistence, without fear, and when I thought "Go", I am allowing things to pass, without resistence, without fear. In the process, there is a tremendous sense of relief. Grasping and being free are opposites states of mind. When I allow the breath to come, I am no longer forcing the air in. It is only an invitation! When I allow the breath to go, I am no longer pushing the air out. I just let it happen by itself. I take away the intervention of the mind into the breathing. The mind becomes just an observer. This is meditation already.
Try it next time you sit.
