The force is with you

The belief is part of yoga: all things have prana. Prana is what we call Qi in Chinese. Life force. Prana is more inert in things we call "non-living" but these still possess prana. As we practice "pranayama", "mastery of prana" in yoga class in breathing exercises, we learn that we are simply in a constant process of exchanging prana with the rest of the world -- not just through the air we breathe but also through the food we eat, through what we return to the world, how we act in the world. As we practice this mindfully, the boundaries between us and the rest of the world begins to dissolve in our minds and we can see clearly how we are the world.

What this means is that all things, so called "living" or "non-living" are part of a whole, part of us. This means that we do not throw a book across the room when we are done with it. We put it down gently in its rightful place. All the more, we do not kick a cat to get it out of our path, it deserves its own space as much as we do in this world. Ahimsa, non-violence, becomes natural because it is more a case of taking care of and respecting ourselves -- since the boundaries between self and other are dissolved.

The implications of this is that we are only one of many other inhabitants, neighbours in a small world, living in not just co-existence but also co-dependence. We all deserve to live. We all deserve to be well and happy. From this perspective, examine what you consume and discard each day. Do you use or abuse? The case for protecting the earth is really after all a case for protecting ourselves, with "ourselves" taking in the larger perspective of being all of creation.

Watch where you are sending prana: recycle, reuse, renew. I guess recycling is an active form of conserving prana: a kind of energy management. If all things have life force, won't you ensure that this is put to good use as far as you can rather than "destroyed" when you don't need them anymore. You cannot get rid of prana -- so make sure that what you have is put to good use.

When I was at the Monastery for the retreat, they announced their new recycling project. For those of you living in Bishan area you can bring your things to them on weekends:

'88 Recycling Kiosk' at Kong Meng San Phor Kark See Monastery
at 88 Bright Hill Road, Singapore 574117

To encourage devotees and residents around the monastery to recycle their daily household items that they do not need or are spoilt, we invites all to do our bit for the environment commencing 1st August.

Please bring down unneeded or spoilt household items to be recycled at:
Venue: Big Carpark (behind Pu An Columbarium)
Opening Hours: Every Sat 3pm-7pm & Sun 10am – 2pm
For enquiries Johnny 9695 4932

Items : Home appliances and kitchenware (E.g. TV sets, hi-fis, VCD players, pots & pans), scrap metal, newspapers, magazines, books, phone directories, shoes, old clothing, soft toys, computers, printers, fax machines, handphones, pagers, curtains, carpets, mattresses

May the force be with you. May all beings be well and happy.

Friday evening class updates

Thank you for your feedback regarding the proposed change in time for the Friday evening class.

Please note that starting from 20 August'04, the Friday class will be rescheduled to the following time: 7:15pm-8:45pm.
 
In the meantime, the Friday class remains at 7:00pm-8:30pm.

See you in class!

Meditation in progress at zen monastery Mu Sang Sa (literally "no higher temple") in South Korea. Photo from www.musangsa.org

I beg your pardon. . . I pardon you. . . I pardon myself

On the last day of the retreat I experienced something happening that is so rare in our lives now: the power of forgiveness.

During the debrief, our teachers, started off by doing something that perhaps came as a shock to our “modern” sensibilities: they asked for our forgiveness if they have done anything to hurt or upset us during the retreat! Amongst other things, they said that if they spoke in too harsh a tone at times, it is only out of concern for our development and they never intend to make us feel upset or to scold us. They also asked for forgiveness from the organisers and helpers if they have caused them upset or any resentment over any of their instructions during their stay in Singapore. This was followed by an uneasy silence. Then Ven Mahinda said with a smile, “. . . so then you must say that you forgive us!” We laughed and said that we forgive them. This felt so weird but many of us we so moved tears started to form in our eyes.

The organisers were very moved by the teacher’s words and they decided to ask for our forgiveness too if they have done anything that hurt us or upset us in anyway. Many of them started to cry when we not just said that we forgave them but a few of the participants came up one at a time to express our thanks to the good care and to say how touched we were by the hard work and meticulous care that the organisers have taken with running the retreat. I felt a tremendous sense of gratitude and relief break forth in the meditation hall. Many were in tears and I felt that we have broken some horrible walls between us and there was such a sense of trust and confidence now in each other. Nothing was being held back and we gained an acceptance of each other and of ourselves for being that which we truly are: imperfect beings trying to be the best we can be. I felt liberated from deep-set resentments that I did not even know were there. How do we live carrying all these resentments within us caused by an ego bruised, whether knowingly or unknowingly by what others have done and what we ourselves have done?

Ven Mahinda said that there are 3 parts to forgiveness: first you ask for others’ forgiveness, then you forgive others and thirdly, you must forgive yourself. He said that traditionally, you ask our parents and loved ones for forgiveness and also forgive them for anything that they might have done to cause us hurt. Easier said than done. He recounted on how he sought his parents’ forgiveness after he ordained as a monk and how they were in tears but how much the trust and love followed freely after that.

He acknowledged that it may be hard to face up to someone to ask for their forgiveness in certain cases. However, he encouraged us to silently ask for their forgiveness in our own hearts first and then when the time is right and when we have built up the courage, we can do it face to face.

How to go about doing this? Sometimes it’s hard to put these things into words. Here’s a suggested way of asking for forgiveness in the 3 parts:

[1] Ask for forgiveness from others: “If I have done anything wrong, whether in body, speech or mind, whether intentionally or unintentionally, I seek your forgiveness.”

[2] Forgive others: “If you have done anything wrong, whether in body speech or mind, whether intentionally or unintentionally, I forgive you.”

[3] Forgive yourself: If I have done anything wrong, whether in body speech or mind, whether intentionally or unintentionally, I forgive myself.”

Realise that when we seek forgiveness, we are also admitting that anything we do wrong is committed out of ignorance, a lack of mindfulness or a lack of wisdom. Ultimately, it is only when we can admit our faults, admit that we do commit errors, sometimes without our own knowledge, that we can accept ourselves and be able to change, to grow and be happy. This is the antidote to blaming others and ourselves, to the poison of guilt and loss of faith in ourselves and others that so plagues our relationships and our lives today.

Manage your expectations

During my retreat, our teacher, Ven. Mahinda recounted a very amusing equation he got from a documentary he watched:

Self Esteem  =   Success / Expectations

Say you are a car salesman and your aspire to sell 100 cars in a month. If you only succeed in selling 1 car then your self esteem is 1/100 which is very low. However if you expect to sell less cars like 10 or 5 or even just one: then your self esteem is higher, higher and even higher! While this may not be a motivating sales strategy in the capitalist world, it makes a lot of sense in the general daily application.

We need to look closely at our expectations in life. The more greed we have for material things, the harder we need to struggle in order to "create enough successes" so that our self esteem is high. What the equation tells us is that there is another way to boost self esteem: lower your expectations. What do you really need to get by? What do you really need to be contented? Examine your life: are you putting unneccessary stress on resources in an unsustainable way in the name of the pursuit of happiness? Could you possibly still get by comfortably, happily on wanting less? Be honest. You will surprise yourself.

Ven Mahinda joked with the math of the situation: As a good practice, he said, you should bring your expectations down towards nothing, having no expectations, towards zero. He said, "So you know what happens to anything that is divided by zero? It equals to. . . .INFINITY! Infinite self esteem!" Everyone laughed.

This is so true and is bourne out in a way by my simple experience on the first day of the retreat. I remember that I thought we will be given very rudimentary sleeping quarters. I went expecting the bare floor and no aircon. And I accepted that, preparing myself for that situation. Zero expectations. When I saw all the nice mattresses and pillows with blankets and clean bedsheets and pillow cases nicely laid out for us in a nice and quiet aircon room, I was SO HAPPY. I never thought I could be so happy by the sight of these things. The teachers jokingly said that we were staying in "refugee style" but I felt like I was in a 5 star situation! At many points in the retreat, I felt I could live like this always. . . which led me to think about all the other stuff in my room and my life. If we can live so happily without these things, why do we feel we need to keep on accumulating more?

Thanks for your loving kindness

I would like to first extend my gratitude to all of you again for your understanding in re-scheduling the classes and for your kind wishes before I went for my retreat. Especially for the latter: I am indebted to you for my being able to grow in my practice. Let me explain how you helped me so much.

The retreat I attended focuses on Metta Meditation. Metta meditation is simple to explain: metta is loving-kindness. It is epitomised by the love of a mother for her only child. Metta meditation is simply having the good wish in your heart that all beings be well and happy, to extend that kind of motherly love to all. As I found in the past 3 days, this is not that easy to practice! First: my love experience is only limited to love of a child to a mother. We were told to think of a loved one and generate that kind of love. So I thought of my family, my good friends, my teachers, etc. Still something missing. I have got love in the form of friendship, respect, mutual understanding but love of a mother for her only child!? That’s a tall order! Unconditional love! I know I am still falling short. I thought of my best friend’s child. . . ah.. . . something’s happening. I feel a joy at simply the recollection of her face. I do not need to know what she likes, what she does, I just love her. Ok. Something there, I thought. Still I have not even held her in my arms – I have not got to be with her for that long. So the feeling lasted as long as my very short memory of her lasted. Which was very short. Ok. Drawing a blank. The tough thing is that we need to generate that love AND extend it to ourselves first before extending it to others. That means I need to feel that kind of love towards myself as the first step in the practice. Wow. I thought I was going to sit there in a blank for 3 days!

Then I remembered on Thursday after yoga class, some of you wished me well and hoped that I would enjoy my retreat. As I recollected your wishes, I felt a small glow begin from within that made me feel good. Then I took the words and good intentions of your wishes and wished myself well and wished myself happiness – and then my metta meditation practice began! In the subsequent sittings, I did the same thing, I recalled your smiles and your good wishes for me and felt the glow of metta spark off. I wished myself to be well and happy, wished for my students, recalling your faces one at a time, to be well and happy, and then extended this practice to more and more people and then to the folks in the vicinity and the whole island and world. And slowly, the sense of being removed to a place a peace and joy happened – so that when I opened my eyes at the end of the practice, I am always so pleasantly surprised that I am still here – that all that joy is already present within me. So I owe much thanks to you for being my students – for allowing me to experience metta and to deliver this love to others.

Lots of insights from a meaningful retreat. I will update them one at a time on this site to share them with you. Will also upload some thoughts I scribbled down during the retreat. Of course will share more with you in class -- See you back in class this week! May you all be well and happy.

Meditation Retreat: Day 4: Sunday, 12:40pm

5.00am: Rise with a smile
5.30am:  Morning Puja & Guided Group Meditation
7.30am:  Breakfast
8.00am: Sitting/ Walking Meditation
11.00am: Lunch
1.00pm: Round up/Admission of short comings
2.30pm: Group photo and farewell 

Cleared out the mattresses and pillows from the rooms, this being the last day. People are talking again. Feels weird. I find that I am avoiding the talkers. Talk seems so frivolous now. Still I tell myself that they are talking so that I can learn patience and practice tolerance. I sit amongst them now. I meditate amongst the talking. I learn to be amongst them -- and to still my own mind from disturbance. Live in joy even amongst the afflicted. Your own state (of happiness) is not dependent on external circumstances and the doings of others.

We are putting our belongings into the largest room. It is full of plaques and calligraphy scrolls commemorating the new abbot’s investiture. The lacquer still smells fresh. We are now going for the debrief in the meditation hall. I wonder what the teachers have to say to us.

Meditation Retreat: Day 3: Saturday, 12:25pm

5.00am: Rise with a smile
5.30am: Morning Puja & Guided Group Meditation
7.30am: Breakfast
8.30am: Q & A on Metta Meditation
9.00am: Sitting/ Walking Meditation
11.30am: Lunch
1.00pm-5.30pm: Sitting/ Walking Meditation
5.30pm: Tea-Break
6.00pm: Puja & Guided Group Meditation
7.30pm- 9.30pm: Public Talk- Healing Through Wisdom & Compassion
10.00pm: Lights off

Just had a bath. Headaches are gone. Maybe I was just trying to hard. Before lunch, our 2 teachers, Sister and Bante (Ven. Mahinda) had a Q & A session with us. But largely after my interview with Sister yesterday, I think I know what I need to do. Instead of thinking – causing my headaches to come – I need to feel – observing the heart. She even made me put my hand on my chest so that I can keep the attention there! Ah, I see! Today I woke up aspiring only to sit happily. Let’s just do that. Don’t even think of meditating. Just sit happily, can? – I noticed that the headache will still try to creep up unawares – happened a few times. I kept on bringing the awareness back to the feeling heart. And the head did not hurt as much as yesterday. "The mind is not in the head:, Sister had said when I went to consult her. "When you listen, the mind is at the ears, when you think, it is in your head. When you feel, it is in your heart." Sister had asked me when I told her of my headaches during meditation: “Do you do a lot of thinking?” I see. I definitely do. I was trying to figure things our when all I wanted is to feel and experience.

I am sorry that I nodded off a few times during Bante’s public talk last night. I missed out on the learning. Going to take a nap now so I can meditate better later. . . and not fall asleep during the evening’s talk. Am happy I did not nod off during puja and meditation this early morning. Ah! I finally understand that I need to drink some cereal first so that I won’t starve between waking up at 5am till breakfast at 7:30am! We had a chocolate "Baci Kiss" each together with out lunch just now. Nice things happen when you have no expectations! (Just like I realised on the first day and just as Bante talked about during his talk last night.) The food here tastes good and is always just right. Home-cooked vegetarian food with lots of variety. Ok. Nap time. 

Meditation Retreat: Day 2: Friday, 12:40pm

5.00am: Rise with a smile
5.30am: Morning Puja & Guided Group Meditation
7.30am: Breakfast
8.00am: Talk-introduction to Metta Meditation
9.00am: Sitting/ Walking Meditation
11.30am: Lunch
1.00pm-5.30pm: Sitting/ Walking Meditation
5.30pm: Tea-Break
6.00pm: Puja & Guided Group Meditation
7.30pm- 9.30pm: Public Talk- Path to True Happiness
10.00pm: Lights off
 
It’s a nice relief not having to talk for a while. It’s lunch break and all of us have wolved down our lunches in the dining hall at 11:30am. Many of us, including myself, took the time to shower after that. Feels good after a nice shower and a change of clothes. Had no problems waking up this morning at 5am but nodded off a few times this morning during the meditation instruction. Woops. Had a headache from trying to force myself to concentrate. Felt better after some walking meditation, yoga stretches, pranayama and then the next sitting was a lot better.

Half of my room-mates has come back to take a nap. I don’t think I’m gonna risk it myself though. The next practice session is in 15 minutes time and I have booked an interview session (we can request private face time with one of the teachers on our personal questions regarding our practice) with Sister Sumitra regarding my problems with meditation technique – in particular those headaches in the region of the temples, especially on the left side. Also I get really emotional when I do metta meditation when I think of some people whom I am trying to extend my good wishes to. On a separate note: Hip-opening asanas are SO important to sitting well in meditation!

Meditation Retreat: Day 1: Thursday, 6:45pm

6.30pm: Check-in & Registration
8.30pm: Briefing
9.00pm: Puja and Guided Meditation
10.00pm: Lights off

Amazing things happen when you have very low expectations or no expectations. They gave us mattresses and pillows! And nice woolly blankets! I’ve just registered and have been assigned my room – Room 1 with 14 others. A lady just smiled at me. Another 2 are quietly talking as they packed their things out. I thought we would be sleeping on the floor so I brought a yoga mat along – ah well, at least now I can still practice yoga if there are breaks. The room is about the size of my yoga studio and the mattresses have been laid down side by side in two rows along the walls with one more at the end of the room opposite the door. I was also assigned a biodegradable cup “to be used for all 3 days” and a name tag with my number B11 “to be worn at all times”. Feels like a nice imprisonment! The girl next to me brought her own Hello Kitty pillow. The air con is just nice and the air smells clean and fresh. This being the new hall of the monastery it is not surprising. I wonder where the toilets are. Maybe I should brush my teeth now that there’s time. . .
---
Brushed my teeth in the pantry and then I found the bathrooms. There are 6 – all with shower stalls. Room 1 is one of the smaller rooms. The largest room has about 60 people! The smallest room has about 6 people. These are the women’s dorms and there are just over 150 women in this retreat (I learnt form the namelist on the wall in the hall outside -- I later learnt that there are about 200 people in this retreat and the male dorms are in another building, the library). Wow. It’s 7:20pm and we are still waiting for the briefing at 8:15pm. Many people are not here yet. I am ready to sleep! Did some seated asanas and felt better. It’s weird not greeting nor smiling at the other participants. I am trying hard not to stare at them as well. Still so far, the retreat is great!

Retreat

Many of you are interested to know more about the retreat I'm going for starting this evening. You can read more about it at http://kmspks.org/events/evt_metta.htm 

There are 2 talks during the retreat which are open to the public on this Friday (Path to True Happiness) and Saturday (Healing through Wisdom and Compassion) evenings at 7.30pm. If you are interested, see you there.

Thank you for all your well wishes. Thanks also for accommodating the changes in the class schedule this week.

I would like to dedicate the merits of this retreat to all my students who are my teachers. --- May you all be well and happy!

How to climb the Himalayas. . .

. . . one step at a time.

I was inspired by the spirit of an article in Straits Times Life! page 7, "Trekking with altitude". You can read the online version at: http://straitstimes.asia1.com.sg/life/story/0,4386,262293-1090360740,00.html? The box story is not on the online version. It is there that the writer gives some tips on how to prepare for the demanding journey.

In particular, she listed:

Physical: Do 50 squats a day for a month to develop strong thigh muscles.
 
Mental: Hone a never-give-up mentality and an open mind -- how else could you experience something so different from home?

I've read and talked to many a mountaineer/adventurer talking about their feats. Mostly, they will end up talking about their feet. . . Up to a certain point in their journeys, the entire adventure becomes reduced to focusing on merely "putting one foot in front of the next". Sure the pre-trip preparation and physical toning helps but in the end, it boils down to whether you have the determination to simply go on when you want to stop.

You do not need to go to the Himalayas to have the chance to practise this. Right here, in our daily lives -- think of all the things you may want to give up because they are becoming tiresome, tedious, boring -- then think of the view up there at the peak, your dreams, your wanting to experience "something so different from home", different from your usual life -- then put one foot in front of the other. Breathe. Trek on today. Everyday presents a chance to live entirely in the moment -- be aware of your climb step by step. Each step becomes a bond linking your mind and body -- a single concentration -- this is yoga.

On a separate note, I am also inspired to help you out by doing more squats -- let's work up to 50 a day together! See you in class!. . . I hope!

No classes this Thu, Fri & Sat

As most of you know by now, I would be away on a meditation retreat from Thursday 22 July to Sunday 25 July 2004. So the yoga classes on this Thursday (including STB and Club Med/Aman Resorts classes), Friday and Saturday have been cancelled. The yoga studio will also be closed from this Thursday to Sunday. Monday following is our rest day as usual so we will be open again next Tuesday. 
 
If you would like to come to the classes on Tuesday (7pm-8.30pm, 8.30pm-10pm) or Wednesday (7pm-8.30pm) please call first to book your slot -- on a first come first served basis, guys.
 
If you can't come on these days, do practise at home. Think of my silent meditation and maintain a moment of silence for yourself!
 
See you in class.

How does practising yoga make you happier?

Thanks for your questions and feedback. Keep them coming. Sometimes I do not answer your questions immediately because I am pondering over them. I am not at enlightenment yet! Sometimes, like in this case, I wonder if I should answer them or let you learn to live with the questions. Sometimes, I wonder also, which way should I answer them as this depends on who is the one who asked the question in the first place: what do you need to hear that will help most? All in all, nowadays, I just keep the questions at the back of my mind and do my meditation and live my life as usual. I find, and you will find too, that the answers are already within. Sometimes, spontaneously, without asking, the answers arise from the depths of your own wisdom and you realise them just like that. To allow this to happen, rather than by accident, we practice yoga. Why? Because yoga gives us the systematic tools to realise ourselves: our wisdom, our silence, our happiness, all that is already within us. This brings me to the question one of you asked:

“How could us by practising yoga, be happier? I know I would be very happy if I could get my head to touch the floor when doing the forward straddle but I think you are not talking about this nor about the rush of endorphin that comes with exercising. Are the asanas designed to change one's mental and emotional makeup?”

You will often hear this definition of yoga: Yoga is union. Union of what? Mind and body. Unite for what?  We live as if our minds are somewhere and our bodies are somewhere else. This is unnatural. Sometimes we live as though we have no body! (Think of all those times you starved to finish your office work.) Or we live as if our body’s perfection and satisfaction is primary! (Think of all those times you would walk from shop to shop in pursuit of that brand of chocolate bar.) Because this is not natural, we feel ill at ease with ourselves. We are unhappy. As Kabir the poet said long ago:
 
The truth is you turned away yourself, and decided to go into the dark alone.
Now you are tangled up in others, and have forgotten what you once knew.
And that's why everything you do has some weird failure in it.
 
Yoga is any practice that allows us to be right here, right now, dwelling well in our body and mind – that is, to return to our nature. What’s our nature? Return for what? Sharon Gannon, co-founder of the Jivamurkti Yoga (quoted in Yoga Journal, Aug’04) puts it very well:

“You cannot do yoga. Yoga is your natural state. What you can do are yoga exercises, which may reveal to you where you are resisting your natural state. What is this natural state? Eternal, everlasting happiness: bliss.”

We are not talking about yoga asanas changing your chemical constitution and improving our mood and leveling out the extremes of your emotions. We are also not talking about how an improvement in physical health has an effect on the health of the mind and how this mutual reinforcement sustains a sense of well-being. These happen for sure, yet these are merely the outer layers. There is something more marvelous and sublime at work through the practice of yoga asanas or other methods like meditation or mantra. There is nothing occult about it. It is in fact quite logical.

With the practice of yoga asanas (poses), we master the mind (in yoga, we understand the mind to be a conglomeration of thoughts) through reuniting the mind and the body. We learn to stay present to ourselves through observing our breathing in poses whether these are easy or challenging, whether it is a pose we like or do not like. We learn to maintain an even mind in the face of external changes, independent of likes and dislikes. With continued practice in this way, we will realise for ourselves that our moods can be independent of external circumstances. Then we experience a sense of well-being that transcends external factors, which are often beyond our control anyway. It is not excitement, but a kind of deep pervasive joy. Some people call it inner peace. My teacher called it silence. The silence of a mind where the thoughts have been stilled.
 
It is encouraging when we say that yoga practices allow us to RETURN to our inner nature of happiness. “Yoga teaches us that happiness is always available to us. No matter what our circumstances.”, as Sally Kempton says in the heading in an article from the latest Yoga Journal on happiness. According to her, there are, in Sanskrit, 4 words for happiness: sukha, santosha, mudita, ananda – they refer to different depths of happiness and provide us with an idea of the path that we can take for ourselves on our return to our natural state.
 
Sukha: is the kind of happiness that comes from pleasant experience.
We all know how long this lasts! The length of time it takes to fill your mouth with enough chay kway teow to make you regret ordering it. Hahaha. Maybe two or three mouthfuls sometimes? Oops. We are all familiar with this.
 
Santosha: is contentment (read my earlier blog entry on “What do you contain”)
This is one of the prerequisites to Ashtanga yoga practice. Being happy in the containment of your present experience cultivates gratitude for all that is already available to you in the moment. This soothes our internal agitation that we need to pursue more and more things outside of ourselves to be happy which is a method doomed to failure as it leads to further agitation and further perceived needs.
 
Mudita: some call spiritual happiness. This is a spontaneous bubbling up of inner joy.
With contentment and gratitude comes a sense of calm – “exaltation, equanimity and the capacity to see beauty even in things we don’t ordinarily find beautiful, like sidewalk litter or fast-food hamburgers” as Kempton puts it in her article. I call this my “Naked Lunch moments”: the moment when I see the reality of that which is at the end of my fork, to steal a coinage from William S.Burroughs. You feel a sudden unity with all beings and a clear joy in that sense of belonging to such a miraculous creation.
 
Ananda: “the bliss that passeth understanding”
When we experience the fleeting sukha, we learn to practice santosha, then we experience mudita and we might get an inkling that a big fat happy bear hug of Ananda is imminent! This is what yogis ultimately aspire towards: when mudita fills our entire spectrum of experience, you get ananda, a state of bliss that we cannot comprehend right now with our untransformed mind. The delicious lure here is that this ananda is ALREADY within you. What you need to do is to peel away all the layers of conditioning (artificial artifices that we picked up from society as desperately primitive coping mechanisms) that you have acquired to return to this state. Yoga practices provide the tools to do this. Whether through asana, meditation, devotion, inquiry, or even better, a combination of these yoga practices, you stand a pretty good chance of reaching this ananda with diligent practice. There are so many who have tested these methods through personal practice and who have reclaimed their inner joy. (This is the reason why the yoga practices have survived for so long: those who travelled the course of the way to joy are the ones who pass on the methods to us.) This is why practising yoga makes you happier. This is why a good gauge of how you are progressing in your practice is how much happier you have become.
 
So what are you waiting for? Practise yoga. Be happy.
 
Thanks to KH for your question, namaste.

Requiem for A__

My friend’s name literally meant “immortality”. I just learnt last nite that she jumped off the 6th storey of a building recently and ended this life. She had depression.

“A__, I hope you have exhausted the last of a bad karma and can start off in a clean slate in your next life. May your smiles, good-naturedness, kindness, compassion and talents rewake into a happy new life. May our love and well wishes follow you there. May you be well and happy always.”




In dedication to A__, when we practice yoga this week, please spare a kind thought for A__ and wish her well into her next life. And let’s realise how fortunate we are. We have gratitude for having our lives within our own hands, our loved ones and our yoga practice. Learn about how your mind works now. This is essential to maintain its health as you maintain the health of your body by learning about how to have healthy habits like exercise and a good balanced diet.

If you have problems, find someone to talk to. If you notice your loved ones having depression, please please help them. Like when you are down with illness, they are not well. They need to be helped to learn how to understand their minds and how to live well for the rest of their lives.

If you need help on where to go to, or just want to talk to someone, please talk to me.

May all be well and happy.

How to tell if you are progressing in your practice

Many of you ask me at the beginning of your yoga practice this same question: "How long do I practice in beginner level before I can go on to intermediate or advanced level?" You would have seen me pause. This is because the question can't be answered like this. The measure of progress in yoga is not in advancement in your capacities to deal with increasing levels of "difficulty" of asanas or other practices -- it is not measured the same way as other skills. You don't take an examination in your asana sequences and expect to pass with a grade and move on to "the next level". Those are externals. What we are more interested in developing in yoga are the internals.

I think we need to rephrase the question to: "How can I tell if I am progressing in my practice?" It is a legitimate question. Eknath Easwaran has this to say about progress in meditation practice which can be an answer to this question:

If you want to judge your progress, ask yourself these questions: Am I more loving? Is my judgment sounder? Do I have more energy? Can my mind remain calm under provocation? Am I free from the conditioning of anger, fear, and greed?
-----
>From Eknath Easwaran, "Words to Live By" (Nilgiri Press, 1997)
http://www.nilgiri.org/Html/Thoughts/today.html

You can sum up all of that in just one question: "Are you happier?" When you are loving, of sound judgement, full of energy, can remain calm under provocation, are free from anger, fear and greed -- are you in a word: happier. Ultimately, a sound yoga practice "changes the way you see the world and the way you live".

How's your practice? = How happy are you today?

Proposed new time for Friday nite class 7.15pm

I would like to ask if it is ok to re-schedule Friday evening class to new time of 7.15pm to 8.45pm in August?

Please let me know only if you have an issue against the proposed new time.
So if I don't hear any strong objections from you I take it that it's ok!

I will confirm this before the last week of July so let me know by this Wednesday.

Thank you.

Nothing makes us special today

There is nothing to separate
this day from others
nothing makes us special today
but some times we mind
more than others
and the universe suddenly explodes
with happiness

otherwise we mostly like to live in fear
it is simple
we close our eyes and make
our way through the days

but in faith or folly
we sometimes snatch open our eyes
and steal nibbles of peace
incredible fruits of freedom
only to shut them too soon
for we are more familiar with the gloom.

National Library carpark closed

Please note that the carpark at the former National Library at Stamford Road has been closed. You can park at Stamford Court (opposite Stamford House) or Capitol Centre if you are driving to class.

Yoga homework

I was touched this morning by an email sent from my friend who just read my previous entry on the habit of silence. This friend has been “waking up early religiously for the past 2 weeks to practise” yoga but today met with a difficult practice session (Hope you don’t mind my quoting here for the sake of discussion, B, namaste):

“. . .however today was different. I couldn't do it. As I stepped into each pose, I had a feeling that I couldn't wait to get out of it and move into the next - The feeling was that of 'let's just get it over and done with'... sadly enough, I conceded defeat... my mind just wasn't there. It was whirling with thoughts , so many.. and still is.”

Most of us encounter this in yoga. When we are encouraged by the good feelings we get at the end of our sessions with our teacher and we are inspired to bring our practice home and integrate it into our lives. However, sooner or later, we come to a point when we are “stuck”. Yet, nothing is all good or bad. I believe that this is the very point where you have the opportunity to take your yoga practice one step further. This is where the breakthrough comes, when you are stuck. Take a moment to reflect:

First, be kind to yourself. We all have up days and down days. The same for our yoga practice sessions. This is normal. It is to be accepted because we can't change it. The key thing is to persist with our regular sessions. After a period of consistent practice, you will find that these oscillations in our enthusiasm for practise has very little to do with having a good consistent practice. This realisation helps us to see through to the very fibre of life itself, which is itself made up of highs and lows, ever full of changes. Come high, come low, we continue to practise, we continue to live with an even mind, objective expectations and a healthy balanced perspective. We become immune to the random nature of the mind, our mood always positive and buoyant, come what may.

Second, you need not concede defeat! You have won! The only bad practice is no practice. The fact that you practiced at all is victory over your everyday ingrained habits -- these are very hard to overcome! This is motivation enough to carry on with your practice. You will strengthen your resolve over time and your mind will become a close ally.

Third, in my own experience, this is where good teachers can come in really handy. They constantly give you new ideas to experiment with which enriches your home practice. While it is possible to sustain a home practice without attending classes, it makes for a stimulating home practice when you have someone skilled in yoga to nudge you towards areas outside your comfort zone, your preferences and habits. The “helplessness” of being in a yoga class with its own momentum can also help you to form a habit of staying focused with a practice session when your mind wants to be somewhere else.

Lastly, you are right, it is near impossible to practise when your “mind isn’t there”. The very definition of “yoga” is “union”, a union of mind and body, at the very least. If one partner isn’t there, it’s hard to tango. My friend’s email has the subject line: “I need to still the mind”. The encouraging thing here to understand is that the mind is already still. When the winds of your thoughts are not blowing, the lake of your mind is still as a mirror. So what we are after here is not so much to force an unnatural state on the mind but to facilitate a return to the natural state of the mind. This means that perhaps the harder we try to still the mind, the more thoughts (those thoughts that you want to still the mind) enter into the wild hurricane of our mind. So how? If the natural state of the mind is stillness, in our practice, we need to, in a sense “surrender” – let go of our rational thinking, our desires, our trying for a while, let the mind return to its natural state of clarity and rest. There are many ways to do this, the yoga practices themselves offer many methods. Befriending silence and forming the habit of silence is a method I wrote about in the previous entries on this blog. Meditation, is very effective and I wrote about that many times earlier. Find out about different ways of doing this and experiment through your own practice what works for you.

Overall, I am encouraged by B’s email. I am filled with hope when B said: “I will go home early tonight and find a silent spot”. The statement is so full of inner wisdom. That’s practising yoga in a nutshell: surrendering to the unity of mind and body.

May you have a good practice. May you be well and happy.

. . . . . . DING! . . . . . .

Many of you have told me that you feel tired at the end of the day. . . sometimes too tired to come to class.

When you learn to practice yoga and meditation especially, you will begin to see that we dissipate whatever energies we have in all manner of ways throughout the day. Is it any wonder how we feel we are on low battery when we need to draw on our strength to face a challenge or to face another yoga class? ;-P

Silence is a great educator. I was sitting in meditation yesterday and the thoughts are still unsettled in my mind. I focused and tried to relax at the same time. I remember thinking, "wah! so noisy the thoughts!" While this is happening, a student came in through the door and the bell on the door "DING"-ed once. With this sound, my thoughts are stilled. Why? I noticed the difference between the wannabe silence that in my mind even though the thoughts are still swimming, and the silence outside that followed the DING. I shuddered and shifted my awareness into the silence following the DING and the mind quiet itself down. Ah. Interesting.

When I opened my eyes, I feel so refreshed. It is always a great blessing that when I opened my eyes, I am greeted by smiles of those of you who have come to class. Silence can recharge you. So noise dissipates. Our thoughts are already going at breakneck pace but our mouths sometimes tries to outrun our thoughts! How many times have you said something before you thought it through? Why do we talk and talk and talk? (I am most guilty of this!) This is because silence is a daunting prospect to us. We do not know what to do with it. We are afraid of it. We are afraid of what we may have to confront when we are in silence -- our true selves. This is not an obstacle to us, this is a chance to learn about ourselves so that we understand how to fulfil ourselves.

Thus this is a precious way to conserve energy. At the end of the day, when you are tired mentally and physically already, allow yourself some luxury: dwell in silence for a while. As opposed to talking to your friends about things you already talked about all day, why not just experience sitting quietly with them before class. Listen to the aircon. Listen to the traffic. Without judgement, without prejudice. Listen to the sound of the door bell and the space of silence that follows. The silence within you will wrap you up in its warm blanket and give you a deeper rest than you've ever had -- so that you will want to return into that embrace again and again. Ah.

Habit of silence

Having an addiction sounds like a bad thing. But nothing is ever all good or bad. Fortunately, yoga practice is addictive, for example. So is meditation.

Ever wondered how it is possible that I teach and practise yoga every day? As you practise yoga, you will begin to find this impossibility falling away like many other impossibilities. . . till you find, as a recently ad campaign by a sporting goods company says, "Impossible is nothing". This is the real power of yoga practice: you understand the habit-forming process and make it work for you.

There are obstacles to overcome on the road to teaching yoga almost everyday. An unobvious problem lies in the way the class is conducted. When you guys are lying down in Shavasana ("Corpse Pose") I am still teaching away. I begin to realise how very important the final relaxation part is to a good yoga practice when I find it hard to re-energise myself the next morning.

So I need to do my own deep relaxation after all the classes are done for the day. How's that possible, since sometimes the last class ends at 10pm and I clear out of the studio at 11pm, have dinner at 12am? This is where habit comes in to save the day.

I started sitting in meditation before I sleep. Some days it is very hard to do this because I just want to crash unconscious into bed -- it is so much easier, so much less work. Still I know and I experienced that the quality of rest the mind gets in meditation is much better than that it can get from sleep. Some days, it is very hard to watch the breath, you think you can't hear it. You begin to follow your wandering thoughts, leading to other thoughts and other thoughts. Some days, you sit there for the most part wondering if it is enough sitting already and if you should come out of it and sink into sleep. This went on for a while. Then there is some breaking point -- and when you begin to sit, you fall, no, trip, right into a lovely silence, you don't even need to watch the breath anymore - - - - - - - - - - - - - It is almost unbearable come out of this beautiful state each time!

Then I realised. You cannot try to meditate. You can only allow silence to become a habit. That IS meditation. There is no big mystery about it. There is nothing to learn. Perhaps you only need to learn a little patience and persistence in the onset. Our habitual nature does the rest. The silence is already within us, awaiting our return, giving us rest and peace.

Gratitude for a nightmare

Here’s a secret for constant happiness: GRATITUDE.

It is impossible to be unhappy when you are grateful for all that you have. This is why they say you should “count your blessings one by one” when you are down. Nothing delusional about this. While we acknowledge our inadequacies and the imperfection of lives, we need not let this balloon and fill up our entire worldview. Try and overcompensate for this unheatlhy habit by thinking of all the things you are grateful for in that moment. This helps to keep things balanced. The things we are grateful for become a personal source of constant emotional support – a calm centre for us to hold on to while the whole world swirls by.

I’m going to stretch this. It is easy to be grateful to things that give off a warm glow: our loved ones, our favourite hobby, fluffy rabbits, our idol, etc. I urge you to cultivate gratitude for things you do not like, things which seem to harm us: our enemies, cold rainy days, layoffs, crocodiles, nightmares. . . You see the truth about yourself from enemies. If you can keep sunny through rainy days, you are unshakable by external circumstances. If you lose your job, you have the real adventure of living a life that’s not all smooth sailing. If you learn to overcome your pet fears, you learn how to eradicate the crippling effects of fear from your life. Often nightmares, of sleep and in life, lead to a chain of events which may not turn out to be all bad, they turn out to be mostly harmless when you keep a balanced view.

Nothing is ever all good or bad. Sometimes something which started off well ends up in a nightmare. Sometimes, something which you did not want happen turns out to be the best thing you ever had happen. My love for the arts created a world of stress and pain – my bout of depression led me to practice yoga – my teaching yoga led me back to understanding the world and my love for the arts. . .Come what may, go what may, if we can grow an attitude of gratitude for our lot in life in the present moment, whatever we are dealt with, NOTHING can bring us down.

Yoga Class Schedule Updates

Latest schedule for regular classes at Om Improvement (starting next week):

Mondays: (Closed)

Tuesdays: 7pm-8.30pm, 8.30pm-10pm

Wednesdays: 7pm-8.30pm

Thursdays: 7pm-8.30pm (conducted by Victor), 8.30pm-10pm

Fridays: 7pm-8.30pm

Saturdays: 6pm-7.30pm

Sundays: 11am-12.30pm (conducted by Siew Yong), 2.30pm-4pm (conducted by Min Chao), 4pm-5.30pm (conducted by Min Chao)


* Unless otherwise stated, the classes are conducted by me. You can join the other classes if the timing is better for you but you will be signing up directly with the respective instructors.

* Classes outside the above times can be arranged. Please call in advance to book your time. Subject to availability.

* My Classes are $18 per class or $160 for 10 classes (valid for 3 months) or $200 for 20 classes (valid for 6 months). Trial class for first-timers at Om Improvement is $10 per person.

What do you contain?

If you have given the "Come-Go-Come-Go..."(see last posting) a few goes, what did you realise? (Not as easy as it sounds ah? Have patience -- persist.)

I found that the surge and retreat of thoughts is ramdom and ceaseless if uncontrolled, that is left in its natural state. What this means is that these thoughts in your mind are in a constant flux. This is not something to be afraid of. It's normal! This is the way the mind works. The realisation that this is our natural raw state is empowering because this is the key to our freedom. If these thoughts are in constant flux, then we can choose not to be troubled by the effects of this flux, we can choose how we want to be today. We realise that the random thoughts and their constant nagging does not make up who we are. These thoughts are not us. What we are is shaped by what we DO with these thoughts. Your do not allow your emotions to be pulled helter skelter by these random thoughts, you rein in your thoughts and DISCERN what's worthy to act on. You are in equanimity always.

While I can explain this, you may understand it logically but you need to experience it to realise what this can mean for you. The more you practice yoga and meditation, the more you can learn to discern the true nature of your mind. However, I feel that even as you begin to practise meditation, you can experience what we call in yoga, Santosha -- Contentment. As Donna Farhi (yoga teacher) puts it, Santosha is the "ability to feel satisfied within the container of one’s immediate experience. . . Sustaining hopefulness even when there are few signs that things will improve." You sit in meditation and let the thoughts flow without clinging nor fighting them, completely at ease. As you sit, you grow more and more patient and comfortable with this restless mind. You will learn then that when you see clearly what is the endless picture-show of your mind, you find that real happiness is to allow the flux to pass right through you, without resistence nor fear, you become grateful for all you have in the present moment and are not afraid of what the future may bring nor resentful of what was already past. As Donna Farhi said above, the neat spin-off of this is that you learn to develop a positive frame of mind regardless of external circunstances which are beyond your control anyway. Isn't this the meaning of being free?

Something to ponder:
The really interesting thing is this: when you realise the endless picture show of your mind is not you --- Do you begin to wonder who is the one running the projector? . . . The projectionist is your true Self. . .